August 11, 2009

GRQ is Crap!

OK, back in April I wrote that everybody should be reading (or "not reading" as the case is with blogs - which I'm proving very nicely so far!) this blog. And I also contradicted myself in the last post, claiming that this is a get rich quick blog. So is it, or isn't it? Should you be actively steering well clear or passively remaining blissfully unaware of this veritable waste of storage space (no doubt contributing, like every other Blog Hole, to global warming)?

Well besides everybody there are certain other groups of people who might not want to not want to read Ex-Leper (beware of the double negative back there, it wasn't a copy and paste error or me getting distracted; refer to my post on Blog Holes if you're confused):

Anybody who hates passive GRQ schemes shouldn't be not reading

By passive schemes, I mean any form of pyramid or vile marketing, whether it be online or offline. Basically anything where you your success (your wealth) is dependant on the success of other GRQers. I call these schemes passive because, because you don't do anything except hope that others do the work for you.

And so by their very nature, they don't work (at best, only for the unscrupulous person at the top of the chain) and they are parasitic. In their online incarnation they are of course the root cause of most of the spam we receive or read (see next point).

If you hate passive GRQ scams too, then I hope you might enjoy my efforts to ridicule them and to educate people not to get wrapped up is such mythological humbug.


Anybody who hates passive GRQ scam blogs and websites also shouldn't be not reading

You know the ones. The bloke who earns a million thousand dollars every month is going to tell you how to do it to too. He's going to give you his super secret formula that he worked out all by himself, for free*, with money back guarantee if you're not satisfied.

*Well, almost for free. For $49.99 actually. How else can you give a money back guarantee?!?.

LMFAO!

Let me get this right? You've developed a tried and tested method to earn a 4, 5 or even 6 figure sum every month and you're going to share it for $49.99 and refund the money if the buyer isn't satisfied?!? But besides you, a million other people have also developed the sure fire way to get rich, and they're also selling their concepts too, also for $49,99?!? And also from a website that looks exactly like yours! So why exactly have I never met anybody who has bought their way into this exclusive club for $49,99? Cos there must be an awful lot around! Or maybe I have and they were just too embarrassed to tell me how rich they are? And in any case, haven't you got anything better to do, now that you're infinitely rich?

**Obviously it's not for free is it - I didn't get where I am today giving away things for free!

ROFKML!

And where is that then actually? Where are you now. The question, of course is rhetorical. He's probably on the till down at Kwix. Don't let those recycled photos of a bloke in a swimming pool fool you, dear absent readers! If there's on place he isn't right now, that's anywhere for rich people!

So, if you feel your blood pressure rise too, when seeing the n-thousandth blog that is going to teach you how to get rich quickly... by offering links to websites with freebies to entice you onto spammer's mailing lists, where they will want to share their secrets with you for $49.99... then I hope to entertain you.

I promise, you won't learn any 'secrets' here (although you might stumble over some rather inspired ideas) and you most certainly won't be offered anything for sale, but you will witness a most hilarious (I hope) experiment, which (I hope again) will make "How To Earn A Living From Your Blog" bloggers shrivel with embarrassment (besides kicking themselves for being so short sighted!).

Because you are not going to get rich from a blog! At the same time, I'm going to prove that blogs are crap, they're a fad and they will die out because nobody reads them. I mean, have you just read this?!? Oh God... I'm back to that tree falling in the woods thing :-/ Timeout.

August 05, 2009

The Next Big Thing? (Recycling the News)

God, there's some crap around on the internet. Most of it forming the majority content of the majority of blogs out there. I can't believe people don't believe it's not butter!

Take this blog (entry), I stumbled accross today. This guy is seemingly wetting his pants at the news that Coca-Cola are going to start using short URL's. Now I'm not quite sure which aspect of this "story" is supposed to be interesting (in the sense of making me want to jump into his blog hole) but all this Next Big Thing talk of short urls did give me an inspired idea: short filenames!

Get this... your computer's operating system could use the same concept for it's file system! Instead of really long names for folders and files, you could restrict everything to, say, 8 charachters, with perhaps 3 charachters to identify the type of file! Is that not genius?!? Instead of cumbersome filenames like "Mediengruppe Telekommander - Die ganze Kraft einer Kultur - 07 - was sie schon immer über die mediengruppe wissen wollten.mp3", you'd have "MTKGKK07.MP3". I think I'll write to Bill Gates and Steve Jobs about that, could that be The Next Big Thing???

Same As It Ever Was

I've been away for a while.

And I came back expecting to see my blog overflowing with comments, new followers, flowers and birthday cards. Hmm.

Perhaps I just haven't got this blog thing, yet? I mean, when I started, I experienced a trickle of visitors. Hey, one cool person even paid me the complement of taking part in my silly vote (whoever you are, thank you sincerly ;-)). But then I went away (because I've got a life) and return now as though I went through a time warp. Not one single visitor. Everything looks just as it did in April, just with a layer of pollen over it now.

Surely I don't have to start writing unwanted comments on other peoples blogs again, just to bribe them to visit mine? I don't want to write on other peoples blogs, I want to write on mine! And I'm quite sure they don't want my shite comments on their blogs either! I read somewhere you should "invent a term". So I did. Blog Hole! That's a brilliant term, I thought. Inspired. But has it worked? LOL. Proof that you shouldn't believe what you read on blogs. Proof that nobody's writing for the community, instead just regurgitating the same old myths. I read yesterday that the emporer's got some new togs. Wow, must check those out then!

So anyway for the time being, looks like my prejudgements about blogs seem to be entirely justified and I'm beginning to realise why there are so many Get Rich Quick blogs out there. Because blogs, like their incestual counterparts, GRQ schemes are doomed to failure.

Believe it or not, this is actually a Get Rich Quick Blog and therefore, by definition, is also doomed to failure.

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