GRQ is Crap!

OK, back in April I wrote that everybody should be reading (or "not reading" as the case is with blogs - which I'm proving very nicely so far!) this blog. And I also contradicted myself in the last post, claiming that this is a get rich quick blog. So is it, or isn't it? Should you be actively steering well clear or passively remaining blissfully unaware of this veritable waste of storage space (no doubt contributing, like every other Blog Hole, to global warming)?

Well besides everybody there are certain other groups of people who might not want to not want to read Ex-Leper (beware of the double negative back there, it wasn't a copy and paste error or me getting distracted; refer to my post on Blog Holes if you're confused):

Anybody who hates passive GRQ schemes shouldn't be not reading

By passive schemes, I mean any form of pyramid or vile marketing, whether it be online or offline. Basically anything where you your success (your wealth) is dependant on the success of other GRQers. I call these schemes passive because, because you don't do anything except hope that others do the work for you.

And so by their very nature, they don't work (at best, only for the unscrupulous person at the top of the chain) and they are parasitic. In their online incarnation they are of course the root cause of most of the spam we receive or read (see next point).

If you hate passive GRQ scams too, then I hope you might enjoy my efforts to ridicule them and to educate people not to get wrapped up is such mythological humbug.


Anybody who hates passive GRQ scam blogs and websites also shouldn't be not reading

You know the ones. The bloke who earns a million thousand dollars every month is going to tell you how to do it to too. He's going to give you his super secret formula that he worked out all by himself, for free*, with money back guarantee if you're not satisfied.

*Well, almost for free. For $49.99 actually. How else can you give a money back guarantee?!?.

LMFAO!

Let me get this right? You've developed a tried and tested method to earn a 4, 5 or even 6 figure sum every month and you're going to share it for $49.99 and refund the money if the buyer isn't satisfied?!? But besides you, a million other people have also developed the sure fire way to get rich, and they're also selling their concepts too, also for $49,99?!? And also from a website that looks exactly like yours! So why exactly have I never met anybody who has bought their way into this exclusive club for $49,99? Cos there must be an awful lot around! Or maybe I have and they were just too embarrassed to tell me how rich they are? And in any case, haven't you got anything better to do, now that you're infinitely rich?

**Obviously it's not for free is it - I didn't get where I am today giving away things for free!

ROFKML!

And where is that then actually? Where are you now. The question, of course is rhetorical. He's probably on the till down at Kwix. Don't let those recycled photos of a bloke in a swimming pool fool you, dear absent readers! If there's on place he isn't right now, that's anywhere for rich people!

So, if you feel your blood pressure rise too, when seeing the n-thousandth blog that is going to teach you how to get rich quickly... by offering links to websites with freebies to entice you onto spammer's mailing lists, where they will want to share their secrets with you for $49.99... then I hope to entertain you.

I promise, you won't learn any 'secrets' here (although you might stumble over some rather inspired ideas) and you most certainly won't be offered anything for sale, but you will witness a most hilarious (I hope) experiment, which (I hope again) will make "How To Earn A Living From Your Blog" bloggers shrivel with embarrassment (besides kicking themselves for being so short sighted!).

Because you are not going to get rich from a blog! At the same time, I'm going to prove that blogs are crap, they're a fad and they will die out because nobody reads them. I mean, have you just read this?!? Oh God... I'm back to that tree falling in the woods thing :-/ Timeout.

Same As It Ever Was

I've been away for a while.

And I came back expecting to see my blog overflowing with comments, new followers, flowers and birthday cards. Hmm.

Perhaps I just haven't got this blog thing, yet? I mean, when I started, I experienced a trickle of visitors. Hey, one cool person even paid me the complement of taking part in my silly vote (whoever you are, thank you sincerly ;-)). But then I went away (because I've got a life) and return now as though I went through a time warp. Not one single visitor. Everything looks just as it did in April, just with a layer of pollen over it now.

Surely I don't have to start writing unwanted comments on other peoples blogs again, just to bribe them to visit mine? I don't want to write on other peoples blogs, I want to write on mine! And I'm quite sure they don't want my shite comments on their blogs either! I read somewhere you should "invent a term". So I did. Blog Hole! That's a brilliant term, I thought. Inspired. But has it worked? LOL. Proof that you shouldn't believe what you read on blogs. Proof that nobody's writing for the community, instead just regurgitating the same old myths. I read yesterday that the emporer's got some new togs. Wow, must check those out then!

So anyway for the time being, looks like my prejudgements about blogs seem to be entirely justified and I'm beginning to realise why there are so many Get Rich Quick blogs out there. Because blogs, like their incestual counterparts, GRQ schemes are doomed to failure.

Believe it or not, this is actually a Get Rich Quick Blog and therefore, by definition, is also doomed to failure.

Writing For The Community (sic.)

Before we (that's the Royal We of course, because nobody's reading!) go any further with this experiment, I'd.. em, I mean, we'd.. better make a short disclaimer!

This is not a Get Rich Quick blog or scheme. At least, not in the same capacity that they already abundantly exist.

It's an experiment. It's an experiment as much to do with blogging as it is to do with getting rich. And even if it might occasionally brush with the topic of getting rich it's most certainly got nothing to do with getting rich quickly!

I hate Get Rich Quick blogs and I hate the classic Get Rich Quick schemes.

But I needed to get this pointed out early, because with tags like "Get Rich" and "Millionaire" I'm intensely aware of the risk of encouraging the wrong people to become none-readers. As a blogging noob, this is a bit of a challenge, because "Ex-Leper" is nevertheless very much to do with getting rich and becoming a millionaire albeit in an entertaining style, so I'd be foolish to avoid such tags.

So who is my target group? What sort of people should not be not reading this blog? Easy answer: Everybody!

Of course, the approximate theme here is money and (me) getting rich, but, as I've also mentioned, not least of all it's an experiment in blogging. So it's also about blogs themselves and about anybody who writes one (it would be about people who read them too, but I've already established that nobody reads blogs, which sort of screws that idea a bit). But most of all, like any blog it's about it's author. It's about me, me, me with a capital index finger (or thumb, depending on your body language). It's about attention and acclaim, about being better than the next man. It's about self-indulgence and hedonism and make no mistake about it, if nothing else, it's about an undisputed barm cake!

Don't believe any blogger who tells you he's writing his blog "For the community"! LMAO! If that was the case, why would any blogger worry about being stuck in a Blog Hole?!? There are countless blogs out there telling you how to run a successful blog. Probably there are even how to run successful How To Run A Successful Blog blogs. And why? Because every blogger wants to be noticed of course. Every blogger yearns for that warm fuzzy feeling that (I expect) arises from seeing dozens, hundreds, thousands or most certainly tens of thousands of visitors drop by and pat you on the back and tell you how fantastic you are. That's fine, I mean, bloggers are only human after all, but "For the community"? Come on please; we all love attention, it's nothing to be ashamed of, so admit it! And I'm first in the queue - Blog Holes are lonely places.

The Blog Hole

Money isn't everything in life, is it? Well, no of course not, there are also blogs. So let's not let money dictate to us, and let me instead clarify a few points about blogs today.

Blogs.

Blogs are crap.

No, honestly, really they are! I don't like blogs. And I'll tell you why.

Nobody reads them!

LOL... isn't that a bit of a contradiction? You've just read in a blog that nobody reads blogs?!? Well did you? Did you really read it? What about trees... do they make a noise when they fall in the woods with no-one around?

So, you see, I'm a tree. No not out of me tree, I said I am a tree! And when I write in this blog, I'm like a tree falling to the ground. There's nobody around, nobody to hear, so I'm silent. I'm as silent as a silent mouse in a secret soundproofed studio. Oh yeah, I think I'm loud, I think I'm making a sound as I fall, but that's only because I exist in a vacuum. I exist in a Blog Hole. Outside of the Blog Hole I don't exist. I can write all the nonesense I want but nobody's gonna read it, nobody's gonna laugh (at me) and most certainly nobody's gonna be inspired or write comments. Cyber masterbation is all it is. One notch below cyber sex. That's what a friend of mine wrote in his Blog Hole in 2006. He claimed that blogs were just a hype, that they would never revolutionise the web and his theory seems to be holding up - in 3 years he's had 9 visitors and received precisely 0 comments/emails. Unlike their galactic contemporaries however, Blog Holes do not swallow up everything in their wake and one assumes that those 9 stray cyber travellers will have quickly found their way out, leaving my friend to digitally masterbate once more in silence. They didn't read his blog, they merely got sucked through it.

And this blog is an experiement to test that theory. At least that's my excuse.

"HELLOOO... eLLO... ello... elow... CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? Anyone Hear Me? one hear me?"

Hmm. Duh. There's actually no echo in a vacuum is there!