The Blog Hole

Money isn't everything in life, is it? Well, no of course not, there are also blogs. So let's not let money dictate to us, and let me instead clarify a few points about blogs today.

Blogs.

Blogs are crap.

No, honestly, really they are! I don't like blogs. And I'll tell you why.

Nobody reads them!

LOL... isn't that a bit of a contradiction? You've just read in a blog that nobody reads blogs?!? Well did you? Did you really read it? What about trees... do they make a noise when they fall in the woods with no-one around?

So, you see, I'm a tree. No not out of me tree, I said I am a tree! And when I write in this blog, I'm like a tree falling to the ground. There's nobody around, nobody to hear, so I'm silent. I'm as silent as a silent mouse in a secret soundproofed studio. Oh yeah, I think I'm loud, I think I'm making a sound as I fall, but that's only because I exist in a vacuum. I exist in a Blog Hole. Outside of the Blog Hole I don't exist. I can write all the nonesense I want but nobody's gonna read it, nobody's gonna laugh (at me) and most certainly nobody's gonna be inspired or write comments. Cyber masterbation is all it is. One notch below cyber sex. That's what a friend of mine wrote in his Blog Hole in 2006. He claimed that blogs were just a hype, that they would never revolutionise the web and his theory seems to be holding up - in 3 years he's had 9 visitors and received precisely 0 comments/emails. Unlike their galactic contemporaries however, Blog Holes do not swallow up everything in their wake and one assumes that those 9 stray cyber travellers will have quickly found their way out, leaving my friend to digitally masterbate once more in silence. They didn't read his blog, they merely got sucked through it.

And this blog is an experiement to test that theory. At least that's my excuse.

"HELLOOO... eLLO... ello... elow... CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? Anyone Hear Me? one hear me?"

Hmm. Duh. There's actually no echo in a vacuum is there!